I stood outside tonight, watching the fireworks go off all around me. I
started thinking about writing a retrospective entry because I had so
much to say. But here I am, my mind going at a million miles an hour,
and I don't even know where to start.
It's been over a year now since I packed up my bags to start a new life
in Chicago. So much has happened -- good and bad -- but life is
definintely good despite it all. I'm confused everyday about something
different, but perhaps that's the best thing that could happen to me
right now. It only means the doors are still wide open to exploration,
right? From the emotional rollercoaster with work and love to financial
instability, I've learned a lot. I wish I could say that it's given me
a sense of clarity, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
The truth is that I'm... I don't know what.
I always had a pretty good idea of what I wanted -- success in career,
love, dance, great friends. The crazy thing is that everything I
thought I had or wanted has been turned on it's head.
I sat down to write this with the intention of laying everything out on
the table to clear my head. But I won't bore you with the details. At
this point, I'm just looking forward to what's ahead -- the new
BlackBerry gig, meeting new people, strengthening friendships, pushing
myself far beyond what I thought possible...
It's strange, too, with everyone telling me I should just come home. My
folks have started to second guess my struggle here as being beneficial
to my growth, but I think it's what I need. I think sometimes we need
to be completely and utterly lost to find happiness, though it doesn't
come without sacrifice and sadness.
Maybe I'll just come back to this post at a later date...
